So, I've been wandering around new blogs lately. While I should be doing my homework, or sleeping. But my mouse wanders, so what can you do?
I've been finding all of these amazing blogs - about fashion, interesting lives, crafts, decor, etc. And I thought to myself, how do these people get so famous? How do their blogs do so well?
HOW are so many people interested in what they say or do, that they follow (as I also follow) their blogs?
Am I making myself clear? (I sometimes ramble and ramble that I'm not sure if anyone other than the small person controlling my brain understands me.)
Any who, back to the topic: cool people. I just...I'm ordinary. There, I said it.
I'm ordinary and average. I live a simple life, and although I feel like I have an extraordinary son (as I know every mother in the universe feels their children are amazing), I am just an everyday mom. I'm a typical wife and your usual student.
I don't have impeccable fashion sense.
Or that crafty edge.
I'm not an astounding cook.
And music...let's just say, I am a GREAT listener.
I don't garden.
Or paint, or draw, or color, or sculpt.
Oh but I dance...like a wet noodle learning to walk....
I can't win a hot dog eating contest.
Or push a large boulder to prove my strength...that I don't have.
I'm not a "people moving" speaker.
And I can't even drive well in the snow..
What it really comes down to, is that I lack pizazz. And by lack, I mean I have none.
I probably do like Harry Potter more than the average person, and I love LOVE to read.
Ok, so I'm probably an extraordinary nerd...no, not really. I don't think I can even excel at that.
I'm addicted to words with friends, on my ipod, and as awful as I am at it - I love to dance.
If I could, I would cut hair for the rest of my life. As clumsy as I am, I'm an ok athlete - and I love to be active and healthy. I do have a pretty great metabolism, but an awful immune system.
I'm addicted to junk food, and am shocked everyday that I weigh myself and the scale doesn't say "too...heavy...get...off..." I hate doing laundry, and I love a clean house.
...I just realized that I feel like I'm doing a get to know me intro. So I must stop and attempt to explain where I'm going with this.
I guess what all of these awesome blogs have done is: gotten me thinking. What have I got, that I can bring to the table? That I can share, and the world will say, "oh! isn't she something?!" And why do I have this unbearable need to do this?
Who am I? I sometimes feel like I'm still searching for...me.
I know what kind of mother I am, and my "mom" me is secure.
I know who I am when I'm the wife.
But what about when those things don't apply...who am I?
I felt like, when I was single, I knew exactly who I was. What happened?
I am some how searching, again, for whoever I am. And I'm in constant debate with myself, as to what the real me would do...it sounds confusing, and is. I want to be confident in my choices, and I'm not.
I see these blogs and think, "cute! I need to be more cute."
"crafty! I need to be more crafty"
"smart! I need to be more smart"
"cool! I need to be more cool"
But where is the blog telling me, "this is who YOU are. Just be that."
I guess it sounds simple when I spell it out this way...but it isn't.
And now I don't know why I've said so much. The me that I am right now feels very insecure about posting this. But since I'm still searching the other parts of "me" might as well post and move on.
See what I can discover about myself tomorrow.
I've been pondering the same thing about blogs and why they are addicting and how people get to be so "blog famous". maybe I'm totally missing your whole dilemma, but I had one that I think is similar. It's hard to go from single and always trying new things and dreaming about possibilities to married with children and that is your life. I don't have any great talents either. I'm not good at ANYTHING. except sometimes being a mommy, so that is who I am now. Want to join me? let's play.
ReplyDeleteSHEILA!
ReplyDeletePienso que eres el mejor!
Encontré tu blog y me encantalo. That's all I got for Spanish.
I'm glad I can updates on your life and your adorable little family since we don't get to see each other too often. I think you're great. And clearly you have some killer genes, because I've said it before and I'll say it again....your son is out of this world adorable.
You are the coolest person I know! I have always wanted to be as cool and cute and fun as you! So that is something! I miss you though... I wish Idaho was closer!
ReplyDeleteSheilaaaaa! Let me tell you something - I feel the same way. Especially the part about knowing who you were when you were single. I'm so glad you posted this because really and truly, it helps me to know that someone I really do think is awesome and yes, extraordinary, feels less than cool. It makes me think that maybe someone out there might think the same about me, even though I find myself rather bland to the naked eye. Just so you know, I think you're un-unextraordinary.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sad, I tried to post a comment last night and apparently it didn't stick. Here is my second attempt...
ReplyDeleteSheila! I'm so glad you posted this! I know exactly how you feel, especially the part about knowing who you were when you were single. I've got a case of that, as well. It makes me feel better knowing that someone who I think is totally noteworthy can feel less than impressive. It gives me hope that maybe someone out there finds me, who I think is bland to the naked eye, somewhat extraordinary. It's funny how differently others view us vs. how we view ourselves. Just so you know, I find you un-unextraordinary. And I'm not just saying that.
Girl, I feel the exact same way. It's sad, but sometimes I find myself basing my happiness for just a minute on how many comments I get or how many people looked at my blog each day. I look at people's blogs who seem so happy and perfect and amazing. Then I have to remind myself that they're only blogging the good and happy things, not the mundane things like laundry and dirty dishes, etc.
ReplyDeleteWith that being said, I want you to know what a ROCK STAR I think you are. You have the most amazing sense of humor and it's always a party when you are around. I went to lunch w/ Liz the other day and even though they have cubicles now and there have been a lot of changes, the Post it note Mario that you put up on the wall is still there. I wish you lived closer, but just know that across all the miles I love you and miss you and think you are INCREDIBLE! :)
http://doctorablanca.blogspot.com/2011/05/my-non-unextraordinary-sister.html
ReplyDeleteYou're def extraordinary :)